Monday, October 3, 2011

Are we really almost home?

It seems like when you were a kid and Christmas seemed so, so far away and then POP, it was Christmas Eve! These next few days are our going home eve and they feel just as packed with excitement and stress as the few days before Christmas.

This week feels like a breeze since we have been at this so long, we have got it down. It doesn't seem as hard as it did in the first month and since we have had such amazing support we have adapted to our new life and hard as may be, it is working. Don't get me wrong, I am still counting down the minutes til I can go to bed tonight, but I feel a sense of stability.

What makes me feel unstable? Friday. And each day thereafter. Coming home on a day pass, on Sunday was something we looked forward to it, but I gotta say, it was a rough day. I was feeling ill with pregnancy issues and our boys were both just so full of energy and excitement and needs, oh so many needs. Honestly, at the end of the day on Sunday, I wanted to run and hide and come back when this is over.

Thankfully today, Monday I ended the day feeling so loved, so supported that I feel like this next phase isn't going to collapse me. My superhero mom relieved me early at the hospital while one of my dearest college friends drove 2 hours to visit and bring delicious food (made with love). Then to top it off, when I got home, it was sparkling clean since Kade's sunday school teachers came to clean it. Wow, as I write this I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the people I have in my life. Why am I so blessed?

I do have to say that Kade gave me the best reminder tonight. I was sitting eating dinner with him and I asked him what he thought about Levi coming home on Friday. He said, "Good." I asked if he thought it would be a lot of work helping Levi and he said very confidently as he shot is finger up in the air, pointing up to the sky, "God will help". Oh, thank you Kade for reminding me of how I will get through this and where my help comes from.

Last night, Levi slept through the night for the first time! It was awesome, especially since I was on the night shift. He usually wakes up between 2-4 am for snack and then goes back to sleep, but he finally made it through. Nice!

His therapy has been very up and down, he'll have an amazing session then he'll have a session where he breaks down and cries at just about everything. One of the therapists has suggested that it may be him just getting
to the frustration point that he isn't able to do what his mind tells him he can do but his body tells him he can't. He does continue to get stronger each day and has gotten a bit more accepting of his ankle and foot braces, which help him a lot with walking. He struggles with anxiety, and working past it to do the things that his body is relearning. He just shakes and cries with fear before he'll try to do a new skill. Today, we worked on stairs and worked through his fear, but it took a lot of hugs and reassuring. That's the sweetest thing, his therapist figured out that if he is refusing to do something, she can ask him if he wants a hug and he usually says yes and then after the hug he usually has the courage to try it. That's my Levi.

Top photo: Levi being a goof-ball in the cafeteria for breakfast. Middle photo: Puss in Boots came to visit, it was a fun to change up our afternoon a bit. Bottom Photo: Levi with his physical therapist Wendy, we will miss her, he loves her! And so do we. He just scored a "rest" in this photo and like usual he is cracking his therapist up.



  1. i love that he LOVES hugs! he is darling. praying for you kara, God will give you strength. love you. anjuli

  2. I can't wait to squeeze both your boys. Big hugs to you all. We love you

  3. I eagerly read your blog every morning...your family always starts my day with a full heart. I love a person that sees the rose & doesn't focus on the thorns...

  4. Your perspective has even helped lift me during moments of difficulty this past month. God is using this situation to touch countless lives, Kara. When I see the photos of Levi in his therapy-it even reminds me to JUST KEEP PUSHING ON. Through our difficulties, God is so faithful to hold us through it. In the grand scheme of things, He uses it all to bring him glory. We, too, are counting the days with you and your family. And yes, sweet Kade, God will help you. We love you, and it's our honor to be there for your as your brothers and sisters in Christ. May you be filled with His peace and love today. May there be a calmness, serenity and a sense of well-being established because your life is God-controlled. May the light of His Spirit shine upon each of you with His love. In Him, Jessica Sepulveda

  5. You should definitely give him a mohawk!! Uncle Jason

  6. You are one blessed momma! Can't wait to hear how it's going at home! Love and prayers,