Sunday, September 11, 2011
Five weeks later
It has been difficult these days to find time to sit and write. That is a good thing because most of our time when at the hospital is spent pushing Levi around on the stroller. Seriously, the kid is getting cabin fever and most of his waking moments he wants to spend out of the room. It is great that during his rehab sessions, 3 hours of his day are out of the room and in a focused environment. He has been a champ in all this, working through the anxiety of not being comfortable in familiar positions, like sitting, and getting stronger. Recently with little support by his hands he is able to stay standing, and with a little more support he has taken a few steps, lefty gets stuck behind sometimes, but we are getting there.
When we are not at the hospital, either Kara or myself do the afternoon commute to pick up Kade at Grandma's in Escondido and make our way home for a little bit play time, dinner, bath, bedtime for Kade(most of the time this goes smoothly) and then a bit of personal time before our head hits the pillow to get rest to be there for our kids the next day. It is a grind, but it seems to be putting Kade in a good place and he is doing much better. Every night we pray for Levi, that he will get better and we will all be home together soon.
Kara and I have been like two ships passing in the night these days. Tonight we were talking about plans for the next few days and with me having evening appointments the next two nights, Kara is going to be doing two nights in a row, Monday and Tuesday, and the two of us will see each other some time on Wednesday afternoon. Man it kills me to write that, but for now that is our reality.
I know that for those who are following our journey, supporting us and praying for us, the details always help so that you know where the needs are. For us, we need endurance, especially for Kara, since she spends the majority of the time here. Please pray for our health as a family, both physically, emotionally and spiritually. Pray for Kara and the health and development of baby growing inside her. (For those of you who do not know, Kara is in her 15th week as of the posting of this post) We need people to keep visiting. During the days and in the evenings it is a long haul for either one of us here. Someone to talk to, to sit with Levi or take him for a walk while we get a moment to ourselves. We are going to get some sort of meal calendar set up this week, because in the back and forth that is our life, not having to worry about dinners when we get home and if there is milk in the fridge will be a huge blessing.
It has been 5 weeks since we arrived, over 6 weeks since Levi's symptoms showed up. It is difficult to envision life before all this. I am reminded when I see our friends kids who are Levi's age running around playing and and can see him there. When Kade and Levi today were playing together making faces and yelling at each other, I remember. When Levi smiles are me, which is often, I see the boy that I love. Yet in all this I long for for the day when this will be behind us. I don't long for the boy in my memories. I long for the boy I see before me to step(both figuratively and literally) into his new life. Because it is a new life. He has been given the gift of a promising life. Kara and I have the gift of our sons life back in our hands, with the responsibility and privilege to raise him up into a man. His new life will not be with out trials or challenges or annoyances(4-5 different hormones per day, one of which being a shot for the foreseeable future plus regular MRI check ups will be annoying), but we are talking with the doctors and staff about his long life...his LONG life. In the great big grand scheme of his life this is just a hiccup...a BIG hiccup...but he is recovering and will move forward. I just hope that as he grows and matures that he will come the know, understand and love the God who gave him his life, who carried his family through a very difficult time, and who has an amazing plan for his life, one that did not include a brain tumor when he was two years old cutting things short.
Before the surgery one of our friends posted a line to this song, "Our God" . The lyrics of the chorus spoke to me then and speak to me now:
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God your are higher then any other,
Our God is healer, awesome in power, Our God, Our God.