Tuesday, August 9, 2011
it is only tuesday.
In the middle of the night last night, while I was not sleeping, I was thinking about the fact that when I got up to face the day it was only Tuesday. Really? Only Tuesday? We have 3 more days until surgery day. I am trying not to focus on the long road ahead, but focus on the day at hand, but when we have Friday's surgery pending, that's proving to be tough.
Levi slept well last night and he is back to the sweet thing that he is. He got to eat pancakes and LOTS of chocolate milk for breakfast. He is on a steroid (Decadron) to reduce inflammation in his brain, but a side effect is that it causes hunger, so being able to say yes when he asks for food has made keeping him comfortable much easier.
Early this a.m. we got to speak with the Endocrinology team (hormones). This was reassuring because we learned that his function is "normal" now and that even with extensive damage that may be caused from surgery, much if not all can be corrected via medications. So, going to cross this worry off my list.
We got to speak with Dr. Weingarten today the resident neurosurgeon that has been on his case who had reviewed Monday's MRI results. Gaining an understanding of what the reality of the tumor is, was satisfying to my intellect but traumatizing
to my heart. I wanted to hear him say that this tumor would be no prob job and that we're good to go. Instead, I heard that beyond the previous concern that we had for further damage to the optical nerves is the location of the tumor in relation to "Circle of Willis" vascular structures that have the 4 major life giving structures/arteries that connect and serve the brain. Oh. Hmm. Scary. Not what I wanted to hear at all. Not at all. So troops, this can be a focus of prayer. That the surgeon would be able to remove 100% of the tumor without any damage to these vital structures.
I also got a little clarification of the type of tumor this is and how it rates on the cancer spectrum, which was a curiosity of mine. It is considered a low grade malignant tumor. Meaning that the ability for it to spread within the brain tissue itself is minimal, but rather it encapsulates around these structures. So really, if you're gonna get a tumor, it's one of the better ones to have.
Driving home last night I was reflecting on the surreal feeling of being literally held up and supported by all of you. Without you, I realized I would be crumbling. Thank you for the scriptures some of you have shared. One that was particularly helpful was from a dear friend's mom, who herself has battled cancer twice. Psalm 94:19 - "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul."